Heart broken!

have had my baby's gender already.
and ii'm having a lil boy as expected.
see-ing the pic up there is the face of our precious.
showing the little hand, nose, eyes and mouth if you see clearly.
Happy about it but somehow ii felt that today is the wrong day of posting such a happy event.
due to moodless and unhappiness.
times flies.
we had been tgth for 10mnth and married for 1 mnth.
and things do change after been in a r/s for long.
you're my longest bf if we aren't married.
but somehow, ii don't know why ii felt that we aren't like the past anymore.
yes, you do make me laugh and smile everyday.
you do still coax me when ii'm upset.
but you don't care and love like the past anymore.
am ii thinking too much?
too over sensitive?
in the past when when ii hurt myself or etc over a minor thing, you sure will get very work up.
but as for now, ii aren't see-ing all this anymore.
when ii'm having pain due to the baby, you just simply laugh at my action or use words to show your care.
where's your action?
isit that you're too tired after work and just wanna had a good rest and ignoring everything.
the time we spent are getting lesser.
sometime ii would show that ii don't care but you know ii do care deep down.
ii'm trying to spent more time and cherish every moment we spent.
sometime when ii felt upset of your ignorance ii would use this to comfort myself by saying you're tired after a whole day of work.
to support me and this family.
but this don't last long.
ii just can't keep using this to comfort myself.
you know, you're the reason behind my happy and sad moments?
sometime ii look at the pic we took when we're still in our honeymoon period.
tears rolled down my face.
just purely looking at the pic, the pic is telling me a sweet story we used to have.
after that ii look at our wedding pic.
this time is a different story.
the pic is saying ii'm just happy at the outer.
but in the inner ii might not be that happy.
everyday staying at home and rot.
what ii wish for most?
what ii wish for is you would come home early and can see you longer.
you might be treating me good.
but sorry to say that ii'm greedy.
what ii want is the best from you.
your love, your dote, your pamper, your care and your everything!
but what you're giving me now it's not the best from you.
ii'm giving up!
trying to see tru alot of thing.
trying to just balance my love for you like how you love me.
ii'm now dead like the blog!

Shall update soon.
Take care ppl~